Our Children-Relationships

As our children grow older, they make friendships that may end in marriage. It is important that they are led by the Holy Spirit, and guided by their values to make the right choices during this period. 

During the courtship and engagement stages, there are boundaries that will help our children keep their relationships right before God. For example, they should avoid being alone with each other, and avoid engaging in intimate acts. Observing these boundaries will help them keep their relationships holy so that they do not fall short of their own and God’s expectations. During pre-marital counselling, their local church should play an important role in ensuring that the couple are taught the biblical principles of marriage. 

God is concerned about every aspect of their lives as followers of Jesus, and who they marry is important to Him. God gave the Israelites instructions on how they should live among the inhabitants of Canaan, their Promised Land. In Deuteronomy 7:3–4, He said: “Nor shall you make marriages with them. You shall not give your daughter to their son, nor take their daughter for your son. For they will turn your sons away from following Me, to serve other gods; so the anger of the Lord will be aroused against you and destroy you suddenly.”  Therefore, Abraham required his servant to swear an oath that he would not take a Canaanite woman as wife for Isaac, even though they lived among them (Genesis 24:1–6). 

When Abraham’s servant was tasked with finding a wife for Isaac, he prayed this prayer: “Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. Behold, here I stand by the well of water, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water. Now let it be that the young woman to whom I say, ‘Please let down your pitcher that I may drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink’—let her be the one You have appointed for Your servant Isaac” (Genesis 24:12-14). Before he finished praying, Rebecca came along to water her camels. She gave him water to drink, and for his camels also, and he knew she was God’s choice as wife for Isaac (Genesis 24:15-23). This signifies the importance of prayer when looking for a spouse and indeed for every aspect of our lives. We should encourage our children to pray for God to bring them their spouses, so that they do not choose relationships that will turn them away from following God, to serve other gods. 

In 2 Corinthians 6:14–16, we read: 

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?  And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?  And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: ‘I will dwell in them And walk among them. I will be their God, And they shall be My people.’ 

The importance of being equally yoked in marriage is the maintenance of our faith in God. Our children’s spouses must share their faith, morals, and values, so that their faith and spiritual journeys are not compromised as a result of the marriage. Once married, they are bound to the faith, values, and morals of their spouses.

God’s intention is that marriages last a lifetime, and the wedding day is the start of a lifelong journey. We pray that God will bless our children’s marriages, and that they will work at their marriages, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to make them successful and honour God.